Geeks: The New Pimp?

Posted February 15, 2006 at 3:37 am 10 Comments
Interview I finally acquired a copy of my appearance on German TV, and I was amused to find all of my song’s explicit lyrics fully intact. At one point during the TV shoot I recall asking my interviewer if it was OK to say English swear words on German television.

“Of course it’s OK,” she said. “You can say German swear words on German television.”

“Oh, right,” I said. “Sometimes I forget how ridiculous our FCC is.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “in Germany I think the only rule about network TV is that you’re not allowed to show an erection before 8 PM.”

Rapping in Conference Room

I smiled and resisted the temptation to ask her what time of day my clip would be airing, recalling the tenacity with which the cameraman had pursued that all-important crotch closeup (which, you may notice, made it into the production edit).

So my lyrics were left uncensored; since I don’t speak German, the only parts of the clip I could understand were me saying things like “asshole” and “bitch.” Fortunately, one of the members of my “nerd posse” was kind enough to provide an English translation:

Taff Hosts

“Geek Rap”

Pro 7 “taff” 12/28/2005

(Loosely) Translated by Karl Gumerlock

Female Host (FH): In every school, there are the cool people, the smokers, the jocks, and the by far least-loved group of them all: the nerds. They really only exist so that you can copy off of their homework, right?

Male Host (MH): That’s true actually, was it really like that at your school?

FH: Mmm, sometimes.

MH: Sometimes, indeed. But this isn’t the case in America, where the nerds, who are also called “geeks,” try to show that they, too, have got it goin’ on. Therefore, a small, elite group has come together to try their hand at rapping about everyday life.

FH: Yep, you heard that right, something that you normally only hear from the gold-toothed mouths of real big tough guys.

[Cut to video footage]

Female Narrator (FN): Rappers are conventionally muscle-bound, bejeweled hunks; gangsters with huge cars and half-naked women. These guys, however, are mama’s boys. They have no cars, no muscles, and, of course, no women — the “geeks”, or “Streber” in German. Now they rank themselves in their own way among the “cool” people — they rap, and purposely in such a way that no one else can understand them.

[Rapping segment in English, German subtitles]

Monzy: We rap to a very limited audience. It’s pretty much like an inside joke — few really understand it. And to pick up on all of the references, you’d probably need at least a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science.

FN: Monzy is a star of the new scene. The Computer Science student at the elite Stanford University raps about computer circuitry, robots, and academic literature — all things that are important to him.

Monzy: Geek lifestyle is naturally a bit different from that of a gangster. Instead of huge cars and girls, we have Red Bull and computers, with which we spend late nights coding. But we, too, have a hard life: we’ve got assignment deadlines, professors that breathe down our necks, exams we’ve got to worry about…

FN: Ah yes, the hard knock life of a student. What would 50 Cent have to say about this? The 28-year-old rap star grew up in downtown New York. He lost his mother when he was a child, and was shot nine times. The story of his difficult life was adopted straight to the big screen.

Monzy: Well, I’ve never been shot before, so I can’t really rap about life on the street like 50 Cent does. I grew up in sheltered Minnesota, but my life has its own share of struggles and challenges, and that’s what I try to express through my art.

FN: One of these challenges takes the form of a rival from the East Coast. As is usual with big stars, Monzy takes shots at his competitor, MC Plus+.

[Rapping segment in English, German subtitles]

FN: And because Monzy is so unbelievably cool, he, of course, is popular with all the girls at his school. Honestly.

Monzy: You know, for me, as one of the biggest stars of this scene, it’s not too difficult. But some of the other guys, they have a hard time.

FN: Monzy goes even further. Although he used to be president of the math club, he now talks big about becoming a rap star.

Monzy: Yeah, I think geeks are in. Geeks are the new pimp.

FN: Excuse me?

[Film rewinds]

Monzy: Yeah, I think geeks are in. Geeks are the new pimp. [Narrator actually says: “Yeah, I think geeks are the up and coming, we’re the new stars.”]

FN: Good thing then, that none of the established rappers have heard about this yet. Otherwise people like 50 Cent might feel like their turf is being threatened. And that, they would absolutely not warm up to.

Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson: People who get in my face, I’d kill them, if my bodyguards didn’t keep me from doing so. [Noticeable disconnect here between English and German dialogue]

FN: So, Monzy would rather continue rapping with his geek friends, rather than risk being attacked by the hip-hop establishment — so that he may, tomorrow, continue to play video games.

JK and JN
Cruisin' on Bikes


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  1. Yo dude, where’s the video those guys got? That’s hot as shit man! I finally got something to show the girls over here… we got some prime materials for some rap. Would you like some inspiration? Perhaps a nice HUGE chimney shaft that constantly remind us that the prez of our university’s a pimp? Thanks bro!

    Comment by Jasper — February 19, 2006 #

  2. Jasper, here is the link. Enjoy 😉

    Comment by Monika — March 13, 2006 #

  3. The first “nerdcore hip-hop” song I ever heard was SMDITPHD. I got really excited and started searching out new tunes. Unfortunately have had already been spoiled, was sorrily disappointed. Great work, I look forward to more. Congrats on the recognition!

    Comment by RichardBronosky — April 3, 2006 #

  4. Dear Monzy,

    I hope you are well. I am emailing you from a TV company called Monkey in the UK. We are doing a brand new friday night entertainmet show called whatever, whereby a panel of 8 young adults (17-22 year olds) get to come up with ideas for whatever they want to feature on the show. They then get to present their ideas.

    One thing they are really interested in doing a feature on is Nerdcore Hip Hop, it’s really unheard of in the UK I read and article written by Bryan Reed and he kindly gave me your web address. I think what you are doing is really interesting, so we would love to do a feature and interview you for our show.

    We will be filming in the States from the end of next week onwards. We would love to meet up with you do an interview, hook up with some of your nerdcore fans/ friends/ other artists that you know. Will you be performing at all over the next two weeks or would there be any nercore gigs/ mc battles, anything like that we can go to?

    It would be good to speak to you further on this. I need to have things pinned down by Monday night (GMT) so it would be good to hear from you asap. My details are below.

    Alternatively you could email me your details with a convenient time to call. Hope to hear from you soon.

    Many thanks,

    Leah Bull
    Assistant Producer

    0044 7980 547125

    Comment by Leah Bull — April 14, 2006 #

  5. Heya.

    The German subtitles are kind of funny because they had serious difficulties translating it correct (and messed up a bit).

    My crew is so hard that we roll in NP,
    => “Meine Crew ist so geil, wir sind spitze in der Komplexitätstheorie” => “My crew is so cool/great, we are best/leading in complexity theory)

    Your problem, Plus Plus, is that your typing isn’t strict:
    => “Dein Problem, “Plus Plus” ist, dass deine Programmiersprache nicht genau ist (Your Problem, Plus plus, is that your programming language is not accurate)

    In ML my type is real and your type is ‘a dict.
    => “In ML ist meine Schriftart real und deine…” (In ML my *FONT* is real and your…”

    Comment by zerm — May 2, 2006 #

  6. This is the funniest shiznet ever! Monzy, I think PMPs are the new pimp tho. You need to Kill-9 those German hosts, too.


    Comment by reasoninrevolt — July 14, 2006 #

    I about pissed myself when I heard the other guy’s name is MC++.

    Hey, drop me a line.


    Comment by Scott Schneider — September 11, 2006 #

  8. To MC++:

    You think you’re OO but you’re just wrapping C
    Word on USENET – Bjarne jacked Richie

    Comment by Nikolas — November 4, 2006 #

  9. I’m in Germany right now, and I was really amazed that at open TV you got some game shows that are essentially a woman wearing some skimpy panties casually talking about how the solution to the problem is hard, and that she is too dumb to try and solve it, so the viewers should call the show and help her out. It’s just amazing!

    Comment by Felipe Meneguzzi — September 27, 2007 #

  10. I think that the main difference between usa and Germany is, that in usa there is little nudity tolerance, but no problems with violence [that means in computer games], which is quite the opposite of the situation in germany. 😛

    Comment by ver — October 10, 2007 #

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