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Posted February 10, 1999 at 1:57 am No Comments

News flash!  This just in:

monzy.com back online after malicious hacker attack

PITTSBURGH – The popular humor web site monzy.com had to be taken off-line Tuesday after a group of hackers calling themselves the “l33t 212 5mL Kr3W” infiltrated its computer system. The leader of the group, identifying himself only as “L4R”, left behind insults and vague threats, ridiculing monzy.com‘s audience as “G4Y 4ss lam3rZ” and “FaGits”. The damage was discovered about 10:50 p.m. EDT, at which time the site was taken off-line. The web site was restored several hours later, after a brief game of security cat-and-mouse between the infiltrators and the monzy.com site administrators.

The hacker group seemed to take special interest in monzy.com site administrator Dan Maynes-Aminzade: “So MoNzY 7hInks he is all k3wl with his monzy.com and sHi7,” they wrote, “[but] heR3s is WHa7 W3 tHiNk ab0t monzy.com: monzy.com iz for LAM3RZ!!!!!”

hacked.jpg (14778 bytes)
The hacked monzy.com.

“A very serious crime”

Officials at monzy.com have contacted the FBI and vowed to catch the perpetrator. “This is a very serious crime,” explained FBI director Louis J. Freeh, “and once the hacker is identified, we intend to prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law.”

monzy.com spokesman Ethan Bold was even more vociferous, commenting: “Forget that prosecution shit — the FBI is incompetent anyway. When we catch that hacking motherfucker, me and Monzy are going to open up a can.”

The site’s security was breached using well-known vulnerabilities in the Common Gateway Interface (CGI) scripting language, used for various interactive features on Web pages. “By passing extended parameters to a poorly implemented CGI program, the hacker was able to access a system-wide password file, which he then managed to decrypt,” explained Adam Berson, a Pittsburgh web-programming specialist. “Fortunately,” Berson continued, “Monzy has some mad crazy hacker skillz of his own, and we are confident that he can catch that hacking fuck.”

When asked about the prospects of apprehending the vengeful hacker, Maynes-Aminzade was optimistic. “We were able to trace him though a series of proxy servers in Boston, Saudi Arabia, and the Netherlands, and have now established his location to within a 5-mile radius. With a bit of further investigation, I’m sure that we can nail his ass.”  When asked where the hacker had been located, Maynes-Aminzade declined comment, citing security considerations.

Will the monzy.com staff succeed in tracking down the mysterious “L4R”? Stay tuned for updates.

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