Ad Campaigns

Posted September 7, 1998 at 9:00 am No Comments

Has it ever struck you as unusual that there are magazine ads for milk? It wouldn’t seem so strange somehow if the ads were for a particular brand name of milk, but to advertise the idea of milk somehow seems silly. I realize that the milk ads are paid for by the American Dairy Association, which is funded by dues from dairy farmers across the nation, who in turn profit from increased milk sales… but I wonder if it really helps the farmers that much. Having an advertisement for milk seems so vague, somehow. Sort of like those television commercials for beef. Do those commercials really convince people to eat more beef?

I don’t by any means want to discourage these sorts of commercials. I think that it’s fantastic that dairy and cattle farmers everywhere can unite to support their cause — and imagine how annoying it would be to see commercials for three different brands of milk! In fact, I think that this idea should be extended into other industries as well. For example, consider the following advertisement campaigns:

  • Candy: “It’s sweet as can be!”
    Feel like something sugary and delicious? Why not head over to the nearest convenience store for a bar or box of your favorite candy product? Remember, candy tastes great!
  • Air: “You’ll die without it.”
    Next time you stop breathing, think about this: the majority of your body’s life-sustaining processes are unable to continue without a constant influx of oxygen! Air isn’t just a good idea, it’s a biological necessity.
  • Smoking: “It’s what the outside is for!”
    Thanks to modern technology, we no longer have to stand outside in dirtiness of nature very often. In fact, many people wonder why they should bother going outside at all. To smoke, of course! Think about it: why would God have created the outdoors if He didn’t want us to smoke?
    This campaign stolen from Ethan Bold.
  • Sleep: “The Poor Man’s Food”
    Hungry? Why not go to sleep? Not only is it free, but it lets you forget about your hunger for as long as you can avoid waking up. When you do wake up, you may even feel less hungry. Food is nice, but sleep is free!
  • Caffeine: “The Rich Man’s Sleep”
    Tired? Why not ingest a commercial product containing caffeine? This 100% legal drug is a safe and effective alternative to sleep which takes considerably less time. Why waste eight hours a night lying in bed when, thanks to the wonders of caffeine, you could be accomplishing great things? Caffeine: it makes sleep obsolete.
  • Bacon: “Nature’s Candy”
    Mother Nature has graced us with a rich bounty of foods, but not one of them is as rich or as thoroughly delectable as bacon. Next time you start to reach for the licorice, think again, and head to the butcher shop for some fresh marbled bacon. Nothing beats the taste of some crispy fried strips of bacon, the candy of Nature.
    This campaign stolen from Brendan Brelsford.

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