PHI

Posted June 15, 2001 at 5:52 pm | No Comments
The evening after graduation, I rented out the Panther Hollow Inn for a party and bought the first 60 pitchers of beer. I had won a cash prize in the Motorola Software Solutions Competition, and decided that there was no better use for the money than to convert it directly to Yuengling. A remarkable number of people showed up.  There were even some distinguished guests from out of town, like Vince, Kristi, Alison, Fiona, and Ethan. We blew through the 60 pitchers in record time.

It was a great opportunity to say goodbye to all my friends before they skipped town, but unfortunately I was a little too inebriated to do this very effectively. Things took a turn for the worse when Vince bought me a double shot of Wild Turkey, a drink that has been aptly described as the portal to hell.


BEFORE

AFTER
Nevertheless, the party was great fun, and I wish that I had thought to do it earlier in the semester. I received the largest toast I’ve ever seen — there must have been more than a hundred people raising their glasses. I learned that there’s really no faster way to gain popularity than to provide free beer.

I’m not sure where the flower in my ear
came from.  I don’t remember that part.

Winner of the charming facial expressions contest.
Carnegie Mellon isn’t renowned for its party scene, but I’ve had some great times here. It makes me wonder what things will be like in grad school. I’m hoping that the fun will be out there somewhere, even at MIT.


It appears that the flower has now switched ears.
That nametag I’m wearing is also a mystery.
I’m glad someone was there to take pictures.

Shearing

Posted June 10, 2001 at 5:51 pm | No Comments


Golden Shears winner David Fagan
holds the coveted trophy
high for the 13th time.

When Adam Fass came back from New Zealand, he brought with him an issue of Shearing, the “magazine for all in the shearing world.”  This 40-page publication contained a variety of fascinating shearing-related articles.
One article described the achievement of Rodney Sutton, whose “lifelong dream came true” when he broke the world shearing record at Turangi in December.  “The 33-year-old from Reporoa trained solidly for months to achieve the level of fitness needed to take on the record,” wrote Shearing correspondent John Hart.  “The record involved shearing one lamb every 38 seconds for nine hours to break the record set my Alan McDonald in 1993.”

The article goes on to describe the extraordinary feat in exhaustive detail.  “As the drama of the afternoon unfolded,” Hart writes, “it became gradually apparent that the frequency of lambs caught and dispatched was slipping, even though there were still a few going at that 37 second pace — mainly the bigger lambs, strangely enough, that seemed to suit Rodney’s style more than the little wrigglers.”

Fortunately, the magazine also contains lighter fare, should one become overwrought after reading such an intense shearing story.  This clever cartoon gave me quite a chuckle.
And when I saw this beautiful set of shears in the center ad spread, I was practically drooling.  “With its own handy carry case,” the ad copy reads, “Sunbeam’s NEW Regal Gun is one out of the box for smoothness.  Armed with a third bearing at the back joint, it reduces vibration to give the smoothest shear ever.”


Smooth Operator: the new 3-Bearing
Regal Gun Handpiece from Sunbeam.

Ass Morpher

Posted June 7, 2001 at 5:51 pm | No Comments

I find the PantsCam humorous because it is such a flagrant abuse of technology.  It combines a great deal of sophisticated software and hardware engineering effort with recent innovations in lightweight portable computing, wireless networking, and object-oriented design for web-driven applications.  It then produces a result so fundamentally stupid and useless it’s enough to make a grown programmer cry.

In a similar spirit of exploitation of complex advances in technology, I present my latest web creation, the Ass Morpher.  Morph away!

Graduation

Posted June 5, 2001 at 5:47 pm | No Comments


Chicks totally dig sashes, cords, and medals.

Graduation has come and gone, and it was a bittersweet experience.  It’s difficult saying goodbye to the people with whom I’ve shared so many life-defining moments.  The four years I’ve spent here have shaped who I am and who I will become.

I apologize for sounding like a commencement speaker, but it’s difficult not to wax nostalgic when leaving behind a place full of wonderful memories.  Today I was looking back on the more than three years of monzy.com updates I’ve amassed, and I was glad that I had chronicled the time I spent at Carnegie Mellon.  Personal web pages like this one may be an exercise in self-indulgence, but I think that one day I’ll be grateful for having kept such detailed accounts of my college escapades.

I’m thankful to those who have shared in my antics by reading along.  I hope that you’ve caught some smiles on the way, and I hope that you’ll continue to follow my adventures as I transition to an exciting new stage in my life.  Whatever my future brings, you can be sure that it will be recounted right here on monzy.com.


Believe it or not, these men
have degrees in science.

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