Chris Moon

Posted September 2, 1998 at 8:00 am | No Comments

Today it’s time for a Chris Moon tribute. Chris is a friend of mine from high school who currently has senior standing at the University of Minnesota, despite having graduated from high school the same year that I did. Why? Because he’s that cool.

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Chris Moon, back in his high school days,
enjoying one of his favorite magazines.

About a year and a half ago, we went to a public trash clean-up event at Como Park, where we saw a free concert by Will Hale and the Tadpole Parade. Never heard of that particular group? How unfortunate. Will is a children’s singer who travels the world (well, really just the Minneapolis and Saint Paul Metropolitan area) giving concerts at birthday parties and public service events. I’m not really sure what the “Tadpole Parade” is because we never saw it on stage.

Will’s most recent album is entitled “I Love Everything”. Some of the disc’s hit songs include:

  • The Happy Butterfly Song

  • Mommy, Daddy, and Me

  • I Love Everything

Chris and I have always been puzzled by the title “I Love Everything”. If one “loves everything”, does that not entail that one loves many horrendously evil things, such as genocide? We thought about shouting this loudly at Will during the concert (“So you like genocide, do you Will? Six million Jews die and you think that that’s a happy thing to love?”) but our manners got the better of us. In fact, we were extremely well-behaved, and far more enthusiastic than the ten to twenty young children in the audience. All of them refused to flap their arms and shout “hooray” during the crucial part of the “Happy Butterfly Song”, but not us! We flapped like maniacs.

Chris entered a drawing at the concert, and although he didn’t win the Grand Prize (a free concert by Will Hale and the Tadpole Parade), he did win second prize, which was a special discount: only $50 for a Will Hale concert for 50 people! Imagine that. Next time I go back home to Minnesota, we’ll have to scrape together the fifty and have a Tadpole Parade festival.

To learn more about Chris, you can visit his web page, which is updated every time that a significant member of the Wu Tang Clan changes his name.

High Risk Gaming

Posted September 1, 1998 at 8:00 am | No Comments

Ethan has gotten into this new idea of “high-risk gaming” lately. You know how he gets into these crazy ideas? Well, his plan is to play the following “game”:

  1. Take a bottle of Goldschlager out in front of the fraternity quad on a Saturday night and walk up near the cluster of police officers that are always standing on Morewood Avenue.
  2. Open the bottle and shout “Hey! Look, all you fat campus cops! An open bottle of alcohol! Isn’t that illegal? And I’m also under the legal drinking age!”
  3. Run like hell. Try to lose them in the mazelike towers of Morewood Gardens.
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Ethan attempting to walk a straight line;
Dan trying to touch his nose

This sounds like it would actually be an incredibly entertaining game, were it not for the possibility of a jail sentence, as well as the detrimental effects of the Goldschlager on your running ability. One possibility would be to practice on your friends who are only pretending to be campus police, e.g. “Hey! Look, Harry! I am drinking a bottle of Cuervo right in front of your face! Try to arrest me, you silly officer of the law!”

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